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How to Use Astrology as a Parenting Tool
Your Children's Astrology ChartWhen a child is born, the planets, through their placements and relationships, create a blueprint pointing to special traits within him or her. This blueprint, the Natal Chart, can be used as a guide in understanding your child’s individual personality characteristics, talents and gifts, strengths and weaknesses, sense of purpose, emotional needs, and relationships with others.
No two children are alike, not even siblings. What works beautifully with one child may upset, frustrate, or inhibit another. Every parent can benefit profoundly by learning about their children's Astrology Chart — the deep, detailed insights you gain can help remove the “guesswork” when raising each child and pinpoint the specific ways to bring out the best in your child.
I’m not a fan of “standardized parenting methods,” because there is not just one single child in the world, there are millions - and each child is different. If a child is made to follow “styles” of behavior that do not suit his individual temperament, it can make him feel like something is “wrong” with his basic nature and send him negative messages about his self-esteem. Moreover, if a child feels that her unique, individual needs are not “valid,” she may learn to shut down her needs, which ultimately thwarts her ability to access her inner gifts and reach her fullest potential.
Astrology can help you understand your child’s unique characteristics, so that you can find the most effective methods of reaching your child and enhancing her/his developmental process. I strongly believe that if every parent learned at least some basic, key points about their children’s astrology chart, many of the problems parents encounter when raising children would never even develop.
A detailed analysis of your child’s Natal Chart provides you with knowledge that will help you, as a parent:
* Know how to bring out your child’s special talents and abilities
* Understand how to motivate your child
* Know ahead of time the types of situations and activities that are likely to overwhelm, intimidate, or frustrate your child, and know what would help him thrive instead
* Discover the best ways to manage your child’s emotional reactions to any given situation so that she feels more secure and confident
* Know which styles of discipline will get your child to cooperate, and which ones will only make him rebel
* An astrology chart helps you understand how this child is likely to relate to his mother, his father, and to siblings.
* Recognize the factors necessary to build your child’s confidence and self-esteem
* Find the best ways to help him make friends and get along well with peers and siblings
* How to steer your child away from bad influences and bad habits
* Find the activities and hobbies that will keep your child interested and that will be most beneficial to her development.
* Understand your child’s style of thinking and communicating so that you can relate to him on his own level.
* Help your astrology child perform better in school
* Get inside information on what career paths might be good for your child when she grows up
Below is a list of the Astrological points found in each Natal Chart:THE PLANETS:
Sun + Ascendant (your child’s basic identity and personality traits)
Moon (her emotional nature and what she needs in order to feel secure and fulfilled. The moon is more “dominant” in children because they react much more from their emotions than their intellect.
Therefore, when analyzing children’s astology charts, it is especially important to study the moon’s sign, house placement, and aspects to other planets.)
Mercury (how his mind works & how he communicates his thoughts)
Venus (her values & tastes, and how she expresses and requires love & affection)
Mars (his motivation & drive)
Jupiter (her talents & the opportunities for fulfilling those talents)
Saturn (how he tackles responsibilities & obstacles in his life)
Uranus (how she expresses her independence & originality)
Neptune (his ideals, imagination, and spirituality)
Pluto (cycles of growth & change)
THE HOUSES:Each Astrology chart is divided into 12 sections called “Houses.” Each house rules a different area of a person’s life, and therefore if any of the planets in your children’s astrology chart occupy a specific house, they add extra influence and energy to the elements of his or her life associated with that house.
House 1 = along with the Sun Sign, this is the other half of your child’s basic identity and personality traits. (This is also known as the “Ascendant” or “Rising Sign.”)
House 2 = your child’s approach to his material possessions.
House 3 = how your astrology child will relate to her siblings, and how she will approach school.
House 4 = a child’s relationship to his mother, and how he views his home environment.
House 5 = her particular style of creativity and playfulness.
House 6 = his individual health requirements, and what kinds of daily routines will suit him best.
House 7 = how your child functions within important relationships that require cooperation and sharing.
House 8 = her psychological and intuitive nature.
House 9 = how your child is likely to view religion, education, and world affairs.
House 10 = your child’s approach to setting and achieving significant goals, and also his relationship with his father.
House 11 = your child’s social groups: the kinds of friends she is attracted to, and how she functions within group activities.
House 12 = your child’s inner subconscious fears and obstacles.
THE ELEMENTS:For now, let’s explore one area of children’s Astrology in depth:
THE FOUR ASTROLOGICAL ELEMENTS
Somewhere within every person’s astrology chart are the Astrological locations of 10 planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) as well as other key factors such as the Ascendant, Midheaven, and the Nodes. All of these factors together in specific combinations make up the unique blueprint that is your children’s astrology chart.
It can be quite complex to study all of the features of an Astrology chart, but if you break it down into its most basic components step-by-step, you can uncover valuable, helpful information about your children.
There are four basic “elements” in Astrology (Fire, Earth, Air and Water), and each of the 12 signs of the zodiac is influenced by one of these elements:
The Fire Signs are Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius, and this element represents Action, Enthusiasm, and Inspiration.
The Earth Signs are Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn, and this element represents Practicality, Stability, and the Material Realm.
The Air Signs are Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius, and this element represents the Intellect, Ideas, and Communication.
The Water Signs are Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces, and this element represents Emotions, Sensitivity, and Intuition.
Each of the elements is known for adding certain characteristics to an individual’s personality; therefore, one quick way of getting an overview of your child’s basic traits is to just “do the math”: Add up how many of the planets and other key factors in her/his astrology chart are in each element, giving extra emphasis to the element of the Sun Sign, Moon Sign, and Ascendant. (To add up the elements, write down the sign and house each planet is in, and then add up how many are Fire Signs, how many are Earth, and so forth. The correspondences for the houses are as follows: Fire = Houses 1, 5, 9. Earth = Houses 2, 6, 10. Air = Houses 3, 7, 11. Water = Houses 4, 8, 12.)
Most (but not all) children's Astrology charts will have a majority of points in just one or two of the four primary elements.FIRE:
If your child’s astrology chart has a strong emphasis on FIRE elements, she/he will tend towards being very action-oriented. Fire signs are generally impulsive, quick to make decisions, and quick to make a move. Kids with a lot of Fire energy can throw themselves into a new project or activity with total enthusiasm - but then their interest may “fizzle out” once their attention wanders off to something newer and more exciting. They are great at starting things, not always so great at finishing them.
Fire-oriented children tend to be very social - they like parties and gatherings, love to have fun, and get energized by being around other kids. They can be dramatic at times, and they thrive on being the center of attention. Fire children need a lot of freedom to explore and expand their horizons, and the space to be active. They’ll get frustrated if they’re too confined (try keeping a Fiery infant or toddler in a playpen, and you’ll see what I mean). For stimulation, they need toys that are action-oriented, other kids to play with, and sports are also a good activity for burning up some of that abundant energy. Decorate their rooms with bold, bright colors.
When “Fire” children get upset or angry, they can make quite a scene -- loud, physical, intense, very dramatic. But don’t worry; they tend to live in the moment, and therefore they get over things rather quickly. A Fire-child tantrum is like a summer thunderstorm: it rolls in rapidly with a lot of thunder and lightning, but then the sun comes back out and everything is fine again.
POSITIVE TRAITS of Fire signs: They are generally enthusiastic, confident, independent, adventurous, optimistic, outgoing, honest and direct, cheerful, friendly, generous, go-getters, and often possess natural leadership abilities socially.
NEGATIVE TRAITS of Fire signs: These children can be restless, impulsive, and often won’t listen to instructions because they’re in too much of a hurry to pay attention to the details. They can be easily bored or distracted, and often lack the patience to stick with a task until completion. With peers, they can be bossy and demanding, and often egocentric to the point where they have trouble sharing the spotlight with anyone else.
CARE & FEEDING: Fire sign children are generally happy to eat once you actually get them to sit still, but they may try to rush through their meals so they can run back outside to play. Try to get them to slow down long enough to actually chew and digest their food.
If your child’s astrology chart has a strong emphasis on EARTH elements, s/he will tend to have a more practical approach to life. Earth signs generally like to look before they leap. They like to have a plan and they like to know what to expect; a trait that may cause them to be apprehensive at times about approaching new situations. It’s best to prepare Earth-dominant children ahead of time for any upcoming changes in their schedules or environments, so they have time to acclimate. If their familiar routines get too disrupted, it can really throw them off balance and upset them. They need a fairly calm environment and a stable routine they can count on.
Earth-oriented children tend to like structured games, where they have the opportunity to fully learn the rules so that they can excel with practice. Board games, games of strategy, video games, and organized team sports like baseball can be very appealing. Also, the arts and music are often good activities for these kids, as is being in contact with nature. For decor, earth-tone colors will be soothing, and put some plants in their room (unless they have allergies).
When Earth children get upset or angry, they generally react with a stubborn attitude -- they dig in their heels and refuse to budge. You will have to present them with practical reasons why they have to or cannot do something: show them how cooperating will benefit them in some way, and they will probably be easier to deal with.
POSITIVE TRAITS of Earth signs: They are usually stable, practical, organized, goal-oriented, even-tempered (unless pushed), loyal, dependable, responsible, self-disciplined, helpful, and more patient and persevering than the other elements.
NEGATIVE TRAITS of Earth signs: Since they have a tendency to be very stubborn and set in their ways, they can be reluctant or even anxious about trying new things. Possessiveness when it comes to their material things (and even their friends and family members) is another common trait. Pushing these children to share their toys with other kids may deeply threaten the sense of security and control they need to have over their own belongings, so it’s best not to force the issue. Don’t worry – as they get older and more mature, they will come to understand the concept of sharing and will be more willing to do so.
CARE & FEEDING: Mealtime is usually not a problem with Earth-oriented kids, as they generally are quite fond of food (children with strong Virgo in their charts may be a bit more fussy, or may have a “nervous stomach” at times). Be sure not to use food as a reward, though, or you may find these children becoming too food-oriented, to the point where they may overeat.
If your child’s astrology chart has a strong emphasis on AIR elements, s/he will tend to approach the world from a mental/intellectual perspective. These children seek ideas and information; be prepared to answer endless questions as your Air-oriented child seeks to learn about the world by gathering as much information as possible. These children can be curious about everything under the sun!
Air-oriented children like games and activities that provide mental stimulation: computer games, word games, puzzles, books and so forth. And they like to talk! Conversation with others feeds their intellectual processing and keeps things lively; however, Air-sign children are also capable of entertaining and amusing themselves quite well. They need a lot of variety, changes of scenery, and toys and activities that stimulate their imagination. Fill their rooms with interesting things to look at: mobiles, posters, books, and a variety of colors (pastels are good).
When Air children become upset, they can get quite cranky and fidgety. Anger in Air children is usually expressed verbally -- they’ll hurl insults at you and can be quite sarcastic when riled up. Their alternate tactic is to dazzle you with logical arguments as to why they should get their way. Air children need a solid explanation for WHY they have to or cannot do something. The response “Because I said so” from a parent will not work with these kids – it genuinely frustrates them!
POSITIVE TRAITS of Air signs: Inventive, versatile, communicative, intellectual, curious, creative, independent, friendly and sociable, adaptable to change and new environments. They generally acclimate well to school, as they enjoy learning and socializing.
NEGATIVE TRAITS of Air Signs: Tendency to be fickle, easily bored, tendency to scatter their energies in too many directions, can be mentally restless and “high strung.” Often they may try to evade responsibility, and can be quite creative in their excuses! (It was probably a Gemini child who invented “The dog ate my homework.”)
CARE & FEEDING: When Air-oriented children are absorbed in a fascinating project, game or activity, they are likely to forget all about food, and it may be hard to pull them away for mealtimes. Air children often have erratic eating habits and an abundance of nervous energy, and therefore frequent snacking (on healthy foods, of course) often serves their temperaments better than three large, regularly-scheduled meals.
If your child’s astrology chart has a strong emphasis on WATER elements, s/he will approach the world through the perspective of her/his emotions. Water-dominant children are sensitive and empathic, and tend to be kind and nurturing towards others. They are deeply impressionable, and can pick up on and become overwhelmed by any discord in their environments; therefore, they need calm and peaceful surroundings. Loud, boisterous people or places can really stress them out! Because they are so sensitive, their feelings are easily hurt, and things that would roll right off the backs of the other elements dig under their skin. Yelling at them is not the best way to discipline them, as their sensitive little nervous systems can’t cope well with strong expressions of anger.
Good activities for Water-oriented children include being outdoors in nature (especially swimming), arts and crafts, music, and things that stimulate their vivid imaginations. Pets are often wonderful for these kids, as a pet can give them something to cuddle and nurture, and provide a safe source of “unconditional love” on those days when the world feels mean and cold. An aquarium in their room will be very soothing, as will the colors blue and green.
Tantrums or hurt feelings in Water children will usually result in lots of tears. When they are upset, they need lots of hands-on comforting -- hold them, cuddle them, rock them, wrap them in their favorite blanket, give them their favorite stuffed animal. It can take a lot of reassurance to get a Water-oriented child over a hurt, because they feel everything so deeply. They tend to withdraw and sulk when upset, and need to be patiently coaxed out of their grumpy mood.
POSITIVE TRAITS of Water signs: They are usually gentle and kind, affectionate, intuitive, imaginative, creative, and often artistically inclined in some way. They pick up on and care about the feelings and well-being of others, and are often very nurturing.
NEGATIVE TRAITS of Water signs: Because they are so emotional, they can be moody, oversensitive (overreacting to things), and can nurse hurt feelings and hold grudges. New places and people can make them anxious, and therefore they can be very shy and even clingy to mom or dad until they get familiar with the new place or person. There may be a tendency to be secretive, evasive, and even manipulative.
CARE & FEEDING: When all is well in their worlds, they are easy to feed. However; when they are in the midst of any emotional turmoil, it usually results in a nervous or upset stomach. That’s one clue to knowing when something may be “eating” away at your Water child emotionally - when she/he has a tummy ache!
Contact Doria Gambino, Professional Astrologer today!
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