Search by Keyword
How to Gracefully Say "No" Without Feeling Selfish
Is Anyone Having Fun Anymore?Way too many people seem exhausted, overwhelmed, guilty, resentful, and frankly, just plain frustrated. Or are we all so busy trying to be all things to all people, that time for fun, relaxation and rest are at a minimum? Are you ready to decrease the stress and simplify your life?
Learning to Say NO
If the answer is a resounding “Yes,” it may be as easy to accomplish as learning to say “No.” Why is it that such a simple word is often so difficult to say? We would like to believe that we could do it all, have it all and be the one others can always count on. However, we need to be realistic about what we can and cannot accomplish and what is and isn’t important to us.
"NO is one of the best words in the English language." - Rev. Diana Lynn, AEH
Tips For Saying NOIt’s human nature to want to say “yes” to requests and invitations we receive. After all, if they are kind enough to ask us, isn’t it impolite or even selfish to say ”no”? Not necessarily. Saying “no” is actually honoring your current commitments and being realistic about what will keep you happy and sane.
So if you find your days overflowing with activities or jobs you are not enjoying, or you are not advancing in the direction you would like to be in your career, dreams and life purpose, try some Tips to Gracefully Say No Without Feeling Selfish.
1. Take some time to evaluate the request before giving your answer. Simply say, “I need some time to see if I can fit this into my schedule, so I’ll have to get back to you.” Do a cost-benefit analysis. How much time will this take and do you have the time to do it well? Is this something you’ll feel good about doing, or will saying yes lead to an increase in stress and resentment?
2. Trust your gut and intuition. If you get a slightly sick feeling in your stomach when you think about the request, chances are it’s something you really don’t want to do, or don’t have the time for. If the request sends a bolt of energy and excitement through you, chances are it’s something you’ll enjoy and benefit from saying yes to.
3. Be firm. If the answer is “no,” say so. Don’t give a wishy-washy answer. Saying, “I don’t think so,” or “Maybe...” implies that you might change your mind and say yes later. That will lead to more stress when the request comes a second or third time.
4. Give a brief explanation without being overly apologetic. The simpler the better. “Thanks for thinking of me, but I have too much on my plate right now.”
5. Be respectful. “I admire what you are doing/ I know this is a really worthy cause, however, I am involved in too many other things right now to take this on.”
6. Be honest. Making up a long winded story or reason why you need to say no will not make anyone feel better about your response, and may very possibly lead to you looking insincere or even like a liar.
7. Say “yes” to something you can feel good about. If the job or cause is something you value and care about, but the time required is too great, perhaps there is a compromise. You may not be able to be on the planning committee for your school’s award ceremony, but you might be able to help out the evening of the event.
8. If the request is coming from your boss or supervisor, clarify the priorities. If saying yes to one more work project will keep you at the office all night, ask for clarification of your priorities. Simply explain that saying yes to this request will take time away from your other responsibilities, and ask which is the higher priority. Chances are your boss is unaware of how much you are already handling, and will delegate some of the work to another employee.
Article written by Ellen G. Goldman, M.Ed.
Read Chapter 4 on Getting Out From Under The Covers in SOULutions: Your Spiritual Makeover by Diana Lynn
Get ready to unlock your intuitive power with a Spiritual Makeover “LifeLift” and discover SOULutions for creating an extraordinary life! SpiritualitySolutions.com specializes in Spirtual Products: beautiful Crystal Jewelry, Yoga Jewelry, Aromatherapy Products, Candles, Crystal Balls, Feng Shui Products, Healing Crystals, Incense, Massage Supplies, Pendulums, Spiritual Gift Kits, for inspiration and awareness, and spirituality articles, Self Help Books / Spiritual Books for spiritual growth and spiritual healing. Come read our spirituality articles on: spiritual healing, energy healing, holistic healing, & alternative healing! Free sample excerpt from SOULutions: Your Spiritual Makeover!
FREE Newsletter Spiritual Tips & Inspiration
"Diana is a bright light in the darkness. I have searched long. I have encountered many. Some good. Some not so good. Truly I say, this light is special." - Rabbi Schmuel
"Diana Lynn is the real deal. In "Soulutions" she writes what she knows to be true from life experience and from a strong connection to spirit. I've seen her walk her talk in the most difficult of circumstances. She is a gifted and talented woman and I'm glad to see her put her work out in book form." - Author Sunny Schenlger
"Truly, your entering my life is an act of God. I am deeply impressed with your sweetness, understanding and ability to love. Above all, your commitment to share these gifts." - Dr. Alan
"You are very informed, in tune, and a delightful and beautiful lady. Thanks so much for being available for me and the people who want to learn, share and evolve more." - Nell
"I want to sincerely thank you for all your wisdom you shared with me. You never judged me while I relearned my life spiritually with your guidance. I love you!" - Amanda
"Thank you, Diana, for your wonderful book - I absolutely loved it. I didn't want to put it down the whole time I was reading it, and everyone around me noticed how energized I was by it. Some of the practical techniques will stay with me forever - I was amazed by the responses I got to some of them as I incorporated them into my day. Rarely have I come across a book that covers so much ground so effectively while prompting such a high level of productive self-reflection. Truly, congratulations on this beautiful work." - Karen